fly sky high

sasha||east coast

twitter: sasharee18

instagram: sasharee

This is super fucking personal so scroll past if you know you just gonna get annoyed or some shit and I can’t do read more cus I’m on mobile

Seems like I’m just a petty girl feelin sorry for myself cus I got left three weeks ago and cus of my social situation. But fuck no those are the least of my problems right now, yeah I’m still crying consistently but not about that shit. There’s so much more goin on and I ain’t crying cus I’m sad for myself. I’m crying cus everything’s so fucked up, cus I see those two beautiful people who deserve so much happiness falling apart. When you’re a kid, and I guess throughout your life too, your parents are supposed to be the strong ones, the ones you go to for help or at least always know are steady streams in your chaotic life. But there’s so much pressure these days, both depending on me to relay info, to be a confidant, ma is suffering cus of family tragedy that happened two yrs ago, daddy suffering cus his current situations fucked up in so many ways.

From the outside looks like we got it all lol. Other than the divorce, both parents makin good money. Got two smart daughters headed for bright futures. But shit money ain’t all it seems. Idk if y’all understand but seeing your parents so damn unhappy hurts like a bitch. And the fact that they both recently started talking to me a lot about their problems makes me wanna scream because that means they’ve been holding in shit my whole life, tried to protect me and the baby sis from their own pain and shit. But I guess I seem more mature and older and shit and once they saw I was goin thru hell cus of Justin it also served as an opening for them to open up to me. And I know neither one of them is telling me the whole truth, STILL. And I don’t even know if I wanna know everything

Don’t get me wrong I love them. I feel honored that they finally feel I’m old enough to start treating me like a friend and not just their baby girl. But damn this shit is so damn hard it’s the shit that eats away at me day and night cus idk what I can do to help them other than just give them all the moral support. And when both of them tell me they’re so thankful for my support, shit makes me wanna cry too…cus who else does either one have except their first kid? And I wanna protect my baby sis from everything too and I don’t know how to do that all the time

Shit I don’t even know. There’s so much bullshit I’ve been exposed to in just a matter of weeks lol and I’m not so sure if I’d rather have this to deal with over a really fucking messy breakup. Lucky me I got both at the same time lol

But damn I’m still alive and breathing and smiling moment to moment, still getting excited about shit like getting my hair did, like eating sushi…makes me realize to live this life I gotta be strong as a motherfucker and idc if that means blogging about my personal shit online or going to a therapist or crying alone at night if I’m there for my fam and for myself then I’m the winner at the end of every damn day

Yeah yeah y’all thought I was a shallow bitch which u know what I really am but look u got a taste of my tragic backstory, ENJOI!! Ima keep smiling pretty and scaring boys peace



dude is trapped in purgatory, nothing he can do

im choking

(Source: vinebox)

i love u

i love u

(Source: awwww-cute)

(Source: blazepress)

It’s strange. I felt less lonely when I didn’t know you.
— Jean Paul Sartre, The Flies (via killheji)



"u dont need makeup to be pretty just be urself!!!"

ok but consider this

  • i fucking love eyeliner
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love
—Warsan Shire, For Women Who Are Difficult To Love
(via larmoyante)

(Source: skinnywig)

(Source: stilinskis)

i want a new start new friends new people new everything i wanna leave everything and everyone behind excluding family and those three baby girls that are actually there for me lol. everyone else ain’t shit, offense fucking intended. idk maybe it’s 3am and im thinking weird thoughts but damn some of these fake fuckers that i’ve known for six plus years really ain’t SHIT. and the girls i’ve only known for two three years are the ones who the real mvps. and im also fucking angry at myself for still being so pathetic sometimes still crying and breaking sometimes being so damn PATHETIC and HUNG UP over someone who never gave two shits like what the fuck is wrong with me?? i look down on people who do that shit i scoff at them i thought they were so damn pathetic yet here i am doing the exact thing that i despise people for doing. yes. it’s getting less and less and yes. i’m getting better and better at convincing myself that he was an asshole (thank god iphone like double saves some photos so even when i thought i deleted, i looked thru my photos one day and found those old convos that i screenshotted, the BAD ones - bc those were the only ones worth documenting, sadly - and saw what a fucking dick you were all the time to me, even admitting yourself that MY feelings were the only feelings you disregarded) convincing myself that there won’t be shit to go back to if i try going back to that path. and i’m STILL walking badly cus of my fucked up knee, damn i gotta stop being so fucking pathetic. 

god i can’t wait til school starts cus damn i need a new fucking start. i need to bond with dif people, find new ppl. i guess i’m kinda a drifter but shit. life’s taught me over and over these past few years that right when you think you comfy w a group, some shit happens and you gotta start new again and that’s not so bad sometimes. i feel like i chilled w so many dif people within just a couple years and some i clicked better with than others…i found the three best friends i could have in my senior year in high school lol. and im ready to experience new viewpoints, new people…i see the 23+ year olds at my work still experiencing heartbreak and shit and i know this shit is never gonna stop. people come and go…idek what im saying anymore lol. 

one thing i know is that all i daydream about these days is bonding with new people…..i guess ima just do me and things will just fall in place which will be nice even if it’s only for a little bit. everything’s only temporary…and im not saying that like suicidal shit lol 

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nicki minaj n lydia paek give me strength…

(Source: miss-mi)

you wish me well

i wish you hell

(Source: y-ureii)